Naked!

unhappiness...

emptiness...

pain and anger...

all i needed was closure...

but came craziness!

and the door opened for closure

June 04, 2007

Y: Ei, hapi bday. =)
M: Cnu po kaw?
Y: Hulaan mo po? =)
M: Sori, nabura lahat ng mga # sa phone ko so im updating. If i knw u, hope u let me knw. tnx.
Y: O i gues khit nde nbura lhat ung numbr s cel mo, d mo p rin mlalaman kung cno ako. But i do know u. Lets leave it at that. Hapi bday ulit. =)
M: Ei, if ur sum1 i knw its d least i cud do to hav d persons name so tht i may thank him/her properly wit utmost honesty. Then again, if i had hurt u, im sori.
Y: =)
M: There is 1 person i knw who would reply the way u did. she is sum1 special to me, yet she didnt actually believe me when everything wasnt ryt. I nvr heard 4m her.
Y: So u r tnking that mayb i am her? Cno sya?
M: U tell me...
Y: Honestly... M not quite sure... S she part of d past?
M: Again, u tell me...
Y: Mmm... Y r u not sleeping yet? =)


June 05, 2007

M: Mind if i call?
Y: Y wud u need 2 do dat?
M: Jst 2 knw u again. If its ok?
Y: Dont u tnk callng me s way too xpensv 2 find out hu i am? O, mayb i botherd u 2 mch last nyt. M sori. It was a crazy tng 2 do. =)
M: Its ok.
3 missed calls
Y: Arent u supposed to b workng?
M: Ok lng... d nmn bz e.
5 missed calls
Y: Can't take a hint?
M: Don't u want to talk?
Y: No. Do u?
M: Sana, jst 4 me to thank u personally. Nagtataka lan me na...
6 missed calls
Y: Do u promis not 2 call again f i tel u hu i am?
M: Cge.
Y: Yeng
M: Ha? O ayan, at least kilala na kta. E bkt ayaw mu naman ako 2mawag.
Y: Wla lng. Told u it was a crazy tng 2 do. =)
3 missed calls
Y: Hay nku! Kulit!
M: We could talk.. Wala naman prob un eh. Tsaka iba # mu saken. Ung 0918 ang start. Nwei, i wil update na lan. If u dnt wnt pwd din naman.
Y: Haha. I told u n d mo rn malalaman n ako 2 kc m using my othr celphone. The 0918 cel s stil gud. Sowee tlga s pangungulit. Wla ko mgwa khpon e.
M: E bkt ayaw mu ko kausapin. Galit ka?
Y: Nde. Dont lyk talking s phone tlga =) anyway, admit it.. t was funny d b? Ay, i tnk nbuwisit k?
M: D naman. K lan. San ka work?
Y: s pque. Consultancy firm. Kaw, san work?
M: Meralco, anu gawa mu dyan?
Y: Nagwowork... Haha
M: I mean anu specific na gawa mu dyan?
Y: Environmental & technical consultant. D co hdles japanese mfg firms. Kaw, hulaan ko... Lynman? Hehe
M: Better, engr ako
Y: T was a joke. Mlamang lng engr k. =)
M: Tnx po.
Y: 4 greeting u a hapi bday? Welcome po.
M: D po.
Y: E pra san? 4 belivng dt u r an engr? Pwde k b nmng lynman? D nmn. =)
M: Ewan, icp mu.
Y: Gumaganti k h. =)
M: Y didnt it work out satin?
Y: D yta ako kgad nksagot dun a. So, u r thanking me kc it didnt work out?
M: D ko po sinbi yon. it is probable tht u didnt gve me a chance.. Stumped or concerned?
Y: Honestly, i dont know how 2 feel. Kc khit nmn masagot ung tnong, wud it stil mater 2 u?
M: Yes...
Y: Y? D b mas mblis iwan n lng lhat s past. Wat gud wud it do?
M: Put meaning to d past.
Y: Tntanong mo b yan s lhat?
M: Bkt lahat? Ganun b kadami?
Y: U tell me...
M: We almost made it.. I must admit, i had lapses. i nvr told u how i feel.
Y: And i thought u wer jst playing around.
M: No, i got scared bka ayaw mu
Y: And i had lots of nsecurities... I didnt tink i m gud enough 4 u.
M: Really? I felt d same way.. Knwing d kind of person u are...
Y: Huh? wat kind of person am i?
M: Strong willed...
Y: And it stopd u from saying anytng? Didnt u notice how i wud look at u as f u r d only person hu maters?
M: I knw i got scared that u myt push me away. I mean i did love u. i jst hope u felt it d way i held ur hand.
Y: I was hoping then dt d tngs we shared realy means smtng 4 u. Kya lng u wer always surounded by othr girls, d ko lam kung anong 22o.
M: No i wasnt.. again, im sori it was mostly my fault. If i had made the move, then i would hav won half of it. Remember, i almost kiss u then.
Y: I wish u jst did. Pro it s n d past now. Wla n tyong mggwa dun d b? Pro u r ryt. At least tngs r clearer now... Gave sm meaning 2 d past.
M: Cge po. Ingatz.
Y: Kaw dn po. =)

Y: Sori 2 bother u again. Pro pwde ako nmn mgtnong?
M: Cge.
Y: How long hv u waitd b4 u fnaly gv up on a posible "us"?
M: Matagal, kaht nung college pa i was stil hoping we could be together. U kinda repelled me.
Y: I wntd 2 4get u kc i was afraid u didnt feel d same.
M: Gud nyt.
Y: Nyt. =)

alter ego

much as i would like to hide it...
there's no denying the fact that...
i'm a bitch!

if people say that i'm lovable...
then they might not have seen beyond the surface...
in reality...
i'm just a damn good actress!

i can look perfect for you...
be the dream lover you want...
bring you to heaven and back...
even feign orgasm if i have to...
but don't ever expect to get more than that...
i am heartless, baby!

gosh, i am so angry...
and so so hurt...
this isn't me talking...
it's AYA unleashed!