Tired But Thankful

I have just started working last week in my very first job here in the US and I am tired. It's quite funny how my body has easily forgotten how it is to work at least five days a week. When I was in the Philippines, I used to work at least eight hours a day, six days a week (sometimes seven)  and I didn't seem to get this tired. Oh well, I think it's just me getting older and my body adjusting to the stress again after almost a year of being in a dormant state. In any case, I am very grateful to God for this provision and to my family for all the help and support.

Anyway, this new activity in my life is the reason why I haven't dabbled in any kitchen experiments for quite a while now; hence, the inactivity of my Project Cook and Tell (PCAT). However, I believe that I would be able to post more recipes as soon as I get used to my new schedule.

Learning to Let Go of Failure

"You did well but you didn't pass today," the lady in yellow shirt told me as I pulled into the parking lot of the Division of Motor Vehicles.

"Excuse me?!" I asked with all the indignation I could muster. (Oh well, I guess I didn't say it out loud. It was just the voice inside me questioning the lady's awful statement.) As she proceeded to tell me that I turned too wide and started drawing diagrams of the road and the car, the terrible feeling of failure began to gnaw at my being. And all of a sudden I am in that place again where my best is apparently not good enough.

I called my hubby on his cellphone to tell him I am in the car. The moment I hung up, my tears started flowing as the wall of denial crumbled. I was already in a desolate condition when Steve finally arrived and all I could say between the sobs was "I FAILED!" He looked confused for a while and then he wrapped his arms around me to comfort me knowing how poorly I deal with anxiety.

Oddly enough, failure is not foreign to me. I have encountered it quite a few times to know that it is a normal occurrence in life. But I guess I just could not handle it as well as I should, specially if it's the "almost there" type, the kind where I'm just half a point away from passing. And to top it all, it doesn't make me feel better when people try to console me with "you were almost there" because that's just it - "I am almost good enough but not quite". It tends to build up the frustrations, disappointments and what-ifs instead of diffusing it.

Fortunately, I have a family (both biological and marital) who understands that I just need reassurance. My husband, in particular, knows how to handle my emotional breakdown or meltdown as he likes to call it. He always tell me to focus on the positive side of what happened and the on the lessons I could acquire from the experience. He reminds me that self-flagellation would not do me any good and I just have to learn to let go. He assuages my feeling of inadequacy by putting things in a different perspective.

I am feeling a little bit better now after all the crying and the realization that life does not end in my failing to get the driver's license. In fact, this incident made me examine how I view things and how I handle them. It made me aware of what things I need to adjust and made me appreciate more the beauty of familial support.

Catching Up... Again!

It has been a while now since my last post. At that time, I was just beginning a new life with my hubby bebe bear. Now, our 1st wedding anniversary is sneaking up on us. Cliched as it may sound but I cannot believe how time flies.



Our first year is not unlike many starter couples' because it is definitely a period of honeymoon. We have regular datenights and we celebrated our monthversary (monthsary for me) religiously. We went on camping adventures, cooking experiments, tea samplings and kitchen stuff shopping. It is indeed a relaxing state for most part.



Like any new married couple, we had our petty quarrels. Although, I would have to say that most of those incidents are caused by me not knowing how to communicate how I feel leading to a misunderstanding. But I would have to state that it is not the language barrier that led to that "tampuhan" it is just my "learned" ability to clam up when I should be talking to him about certain situations. You see, Steve is my first and only boyfriend and so I have yet to realize that men cannot read their women's minds. Nevertheless, these incidents (or the things that happen after) are fun.



The only time we were not enjoying ourselves are those times when we had to deal with immigration hooplas. I, being a foreigner in the proverbial land of milk and honey, have to prove that I did not marry my hubby just for the green card (the permanent resident status card). Admittedly, it is relatively easy for him and me to prove the bonafides of our marriage. It is the bureaucracy that is hard to deal with. Just imagine the money, effort and time that we have to put into the convoluted process of adjusting my immigration status. Add to that my craziness because of being stuck at home without a job. And you will get (my) minor meltdowns which, fortunately, my hubby knows how to handle and quell.



Yes, it has been an eventful year for us - one that would forever be etched in our minds (another cliche... lol!). And looking at the whole picture, I could say that our first year of marriage has been a bliss.

Bebe Chronicles: A New Beginning

... for we conquered both TIME and DISTANCE!

CHRISTMAS WITH MY BEBE

My First Christmas with my Steve and the Happiest so far...

The LOVE of my LIFE

Happiness!

A few months ago, i wrote about finding a man who loves me as much as i do. Well, we're living half a world apart but that didn't stop our love from growing. We continued communicating and with each day, we felt that we need to see each other and be with each other.


And so after much planning and much saving and much waiting, we finally met in the flesh. It was magical so to speak. I never really thought we'd be inseparable. But the first moment we touched, it was as if we've known each other forever.


We're officially engaged now (though in truth, we've been married since early this year through our online ceremony) and soon we would be together body and soul forever...

Back from Outerspace

It's been a long time since i last posted.

Many things had happened and there have been so many changes in my life.
I left the blog with a crazy mind filled with the horridness of a suddenly finished business.
But now i'm coming back with a better view of life and a very loving man.
:)